The big fat thrill

Well, here goes another weekend of work… Tick-tock, like I said in the previous entry, the clock’s not only ticking, but it’s also forcing me to work 7-day weeks. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

At least it’s not full days.

You know, I was reading the other day an article about the obesity epidemic that’s now plaguing the UK. Apparently, 37% of people are now classified obese, i.e. their weight is a hazard to their health. Yes, that’s the UK I’m talking about, aka England, aka Land of Boiled Veggies and Bland Foods.

They’re getting fat.

One of the main factors contributing to the obesity problem is “Sedentary Lifestyle”, a fancy name for being a couch-potato. Now, I’m a biologist and I understand that there are many reasons why a person would become overweight, but I think that lazy-life has a lot to do with it. Nonetheless, I had to laugh at how this wonderful country decided to deal with the issue.

The problem, they said, is simple: People sit in front of the TV (aka “telly”, aka “The 7th miracle”, aka “The 11th plague”), filling their gorge with rubbish and their brains with, well, rubbish. Add the two together, leave for a few weeks to grow into a habit, and presto! your waist is gone and now you have an equator.

(Must… resist… fat… jokes…)

So TV-oriented life makes people fat. Okay? Okay. Right, they said. So how can we help these afflicted creatures?

I know! said someone: Let’s make a TV show about the hazard of Obesity. Yes, yes, let’s make a two-hour daily program that aims to combat The Fat! Let’s fight fire with fire!

And they did, friends. They did.

Unfortunately, the show was so successful that it had obese people sitting on the sofa for an extra two hours a day, munching on crisps and learning about the hazards of obesity.

Now they have an epidemic. In fact, because the Old World is sinking along with the New One (49.5%? What do you people eat over there? Bricks?), they did what good Europeans do: They made a committee. The IOTF (International Obesity Task Force) was introduced to fight The Fat across the globe before said globe tilts on its axis more and ushers in another Ice Age.

(Must… resist… fat… jokes…)

Of course, all this received full coverage on the media so people could add another hour or so on their daily TV worship session, watching the world struggle for their health. And we all know that struggling-for-your-health shows go best with pepperoni pizza and/or KFC.

Anyway, story goes that a couple of months ago, the UK government decided to do something radical (for a change): They pulled the plug on all fatty foods in school cafeterias (man – back in Athens we didn’t even have chairs) so that at least the young ones may still have some, ahem, slim hope of a thinner future.

(Must… resist… Never mind)

Next on: Global Warming; A full report on how keeping your TV on all day is adding to the increasing tempearture. Stay tuned!

But I guess obesity is no different than alcoholism, gambling, lust, careerism, and every other substitute we use to try and fill The Hole, that big empty space inside everyone of us that just never seems to be satisfied.

No, I won’t write a sermon. No-one’s reading these, anyway. I’ll just leave you with two more things:

All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
– Isaiah 53:6

I sought the LORD, and He heard me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
-Psalm 34:4

One thought on “The big fat thrill

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