After years of exhaustive and secretive laboratory work we have finally done it! Joining forces with a prodigious colleague from Hong-Kong, we have finally managed to create the first pure sample of… PURPLE. Yes, Purple (symbol: Pp) is known as the Holy Grail of Chemistry, trailing centuries of failed alchemist attempts to create it. Soon it will replace gold as the cornerstone of global economy, and the world as we know it will never be the same again… Surely fame and fortune awaits us.

By the way, you heard it first here.

Our research was funded by the Obscure Science Projects Committee (OSPC) and the Laboratory Entertainment Association (LEA).

OSPC: We’re there. You just can’t see us. Send money.
LEA: Ha. Ha. Ha. Now go do some cloning.