The Da Applicant Code

Today I began officially to look for a job, for after I finish my PhD sometime in October…

It’s a hard pitch so far, what with all the requirements some of these positions have: “The applicant must be an enthusiastic scientist [check], preferably with a background in [insert complicated name of scientific field] and good references [check]. The applicant must also be a researcher of international stature, must have piles of publications in top journals, must be at least a Nobel candidate and must have attempted world domination at least once. Applicants of divine lineage with their own cults will be highly favoured. Miraculous powers a must.”

You’d think that, at this stage, this would be easier. In fact, it was easier to find a job back in the day when all I had going for me was my high-school certificate and a healthy back.

But I shouldn’t complain – yet. Like I said, I just started looking, and God has an amazing way of directing these things in my life. It’s about trust, not CVs… which reminds me, however, that I should continue updating mine. You ever seen an “academic” CV? It runs a few tomes long, with an absurd amount of detailing of every breath you’ve taken in your life…

And of course, at this point, I must rue as I always have:

I should’ve taken gardening.


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