The Jobseeker’s chant

Here’s a little update on how the job chasing thing is going:

…did you see anything? No? Neither did I.

Okay, okay, so it hasn’t moved an inch since the last time… I’ve been so caught up with all my lab work that I really haven’t got much energy for the challenges of finding a job that will start in ten months at the earliest.

There. I said it. Shoot me.

I’ll tell you though, and I’m sure all of you out there doing PhDs will agree: When they tell you it takes three years of your life, they mean it takes three years OUT of your life. And when you start, you’re too grateful and hopeful and dazzled to realise that little word that’s missing…

No, ladies and gentlemen, let’s get this straightened once and for all: A PhD doesn’t mean that the world is your oyster (I prefer crab myself). It doesn’t mean that you will have fifty employers falling over themselves to hire you, and it doesn’t mean that your life is sorted. In fact, if anyone out there can claim to have his life sorted, I’d like to meet him.

Nope – it’s back to the classifieds and “I believe that I would be suited to this position in terms of productively contributing to your company” and the “I have had ample time to understand myself and assess my strengths and weeknesses. Strengths? Well, I am hard-working, enthusiastic about my projects, disciplined, focused and very much a peoples’ person. Also, I can function effectively under pressure while maintaining both my goals and my co-workers in sight. Weeknesses? I guess… [fake sheepish smile] I am sometimes a little too focused on my work, you know, a little bit of a perfectionist – I suppose I am quite demanding of myself, and that might interfere with other aspects of my life such as my social interactions… [widen sheepish smile and look innocent].

Sounds familiar? Just memorise that poem and don’t forget to brush your teeth. The rest, as W.S. said, is silence.

Once you get the job, all that can go out the window.

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